IronicallyME

OMG. There's a FILM that's COMING SOON that would be the next BIGGEST BLOCKBUSTER as SOON as it HITS the CINEMAS. its so BIG that it OCCUPIES 2 lines on my BLOG. like this.

THE LAKE HOUSE.

For the viewing pleasure of my BELOVED readers, LADIES and GENTLEMAN alike, I've PUBLISHED the TRAILER and on my BLOG. Enjoy.

I think it would be so GOOD that I'll be getting the DIRECTOR's cut, EDITOR's cut, PRODUCER's cut, and whatever kinda CUTs which you can get, be it INTENTIONALLY or UNINTENTIONALLY of the MOVIE when the DVD releases.

Talking about MOVIES, the latest movie I caught was the INFAMOUS, Pirates Of the Caribbean, the Dead Man's Chest. I'm still quite PUZZLED, could somebody kindly ENLIGHTEN me whether what the CHEST represents? the TREASURE CHEST? or the CHEST of Mr Teriyaki Takopachi? Besides, what's the BIG DEAL about John Deppy also known as Captain Jack Pigeon? and Orlando BLOOM, actually do ANYBODY have any idea how often does he BLOOM? like during which season? seriously, they ain't really HOT, as compared to KEANU REEVES. Awww...... NO! I'm not GAY. I'm just er... err... errr... CAPTIVATED by his CHARISMA, that's all, apart from his DEEP EYES, SEXY LIPS, CHISELLED BODY. Come to ME REEVY...

Okay, so GAY's the WORD huh? I bet you GUYS and GUYETTES have checked out several of the GAY blogs that's around. I'm a LIBERAL person, thus GAYS are accepted in MY world, and are regarded as every other EQUAL individual, except the FACT that GAYs HUGGING, KISSING, SMOOCHING, FRENCHING, and any other kind of ACTIONS along that line of INTIMACY simply puts ME off to the extend in which no WORDS CAN EVER DESCRIBE. its like QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM. I mean DAMN, 2 hunks fondling each other. SHIT NO! I mean Lesbians are FINE to me. at least they indulge in their own CATERRIFIC, PUSSICILIOUS loving, and be deemed to be AFFECTIONATE actions of SISTER love. And I shan't ELABORATE more on this SENSITIVE topic, else my BLOG would be LABELLED as ANTI-GAY, which would most probbaly result in GOD-KNOWS-WHAT kinda CONSEQUENCES, perhaps little CUTE PINK parcels of ASS PLUGs, STRAP-ONs, STRAWBERRY flavoured LUBRICANT. Slurps

OKAY! you WANT it. CUM on ME, I mean COME get it. I'm just KIDDING. chill it MAN/WOMAN. whatever that makes you GAY.

Don't worry, be GAY.

PS: you NUMBSKULLS, GAY means HAPPY.

IM NOT TELLING YOU So much for being WILBERT, 2:24 AM

For those who are thinking that I've finally posting an EMO entry, I'm afraid to say that you're RIGHT. NOT. this LITTLE sketch was ARTISTICALLY and COMELY done by a FRIEND of MINE, which TOTALLY had me in ASESTHETIC ADMIRATION. SPLENDID work of ART I must say, EXCEPTIONALLY BRILLIANT.

Talking about the HEART, Im here once again to ENLIGHTEN you BUNCH of plastic DOLLS and DOLLETTES that the HEART isn't the STRONGEST organ in the BODY. ITS not the PENIS, you OMINOUS MALE CHAUVINIST. it is NONE other than the TOOL of ORAL expression, the TONGUE.

This Cartoon is supposed to be considered NEUTRAL and INNOCENT in nature, HOWEVER, I have EXPLOITED the true INTENTIONS of the ARTIST, who I have concluded to have a PERSONAL AGENDA against GUYS. Okay so what if you GIRLS can get GUYS to do whatever that makes you HAPPY, by just ABUSING your BESTOWED assets? ITS out of RESPECT I tell you. Nothing more than that.

Okay Im not going to DEGRADE my post once AGAIN to illustrate on the UGLY side of the FEMININE couterparts of MAN. Back to where before I was RUDELY interrupted by YOU FEMALES, I was TALKING about the HEART. I remembered once I did this PERSONALITY test that CLAIMS to be able to DEPICT your PERSONA just by you answering a FEW of QUESIONS, and you think I even BELIEVE that?! I mean who WOULD? its DUMB and TOTALLY senseless for ONE to even COMTEMPLATE whether to WASTE their TIME taking the TEST. Besides, even IF he or SHE did it, its EVEN more NITWITTED for them to TRUST that its TRUE.
Anyway, the TEST results states that Im more of a FEELER.
This simply means I FEEL MORE than I THINK, most of the time. A follower of the HEART.
I guess this explains why my heart is OVERBURDENED by so much STUFFS while my BRAIN is basically experiencing ZERO output and HIBERNATING most of the TIME.
Eh wipe that GRIMACE away from that FACE. ALL of YOU. I'm not the only one around here that's having this PROBLEM,(in fact, its NOT a PROBLEM, its just a SITUATION.) at least that's what I FEEL. actually to come to THINK of it,( OH YEAH, I'm THINKING.) do ANY of you THINKING GEEKS know when are you USING your HEAD, or your HEART? for example, when you are CONFUSED?
the answer is HEART. do you ever THINK CONFUSED?
okay ENOUGH of all FEELING of the BRAIN and THINKING of the HEART SHIT. its GETTING me all feeling so MIXED up RIGHT INSIDE now, its LIKE my HEART and BRAIN have SWAPPED places. NOW do all of you UNDERSTAND how the THROBBING of the HEAD comes ABOUT?
Someone just INTRODUCED me a term, OXYMORON. its kinda COOL. what it MEANS?
basically, just putting two CONTRADICTORY words together. for example. she's PRETTY UGLY. or REALLY PLASTIC. then AGAIN some FEMINIST would NATURALLY come up with something like SMART MAN. sometimes I truly wonder what a BETTER place the WORLD would be if LADIES would be a LITTLE more SENSITIVE to the FEELINGS of their OTHER part. then AGAIN, if thats the CASE. the WORLD would come to a STAND STILL.
My female FRIENDS being SWEET, showing CONCERN, REPROCIATING our LOVE.
No offence BUT its REALLY that HARD to IMAGINE.

Buh BYES!
World PEACE, Sex PEACE. Spread the LOVE.

IM NOT TELLING YOU So much for being WILBERT, 10:24 AM

Have you EVER had SOMEBODY who you DON'T REALLY KNOW, just ALL OUT OF A SUDDEN POP OUT, and JOIN into the ONGOING CONVERSATION that you and your friends are HAVING? hurhur!

AS if THINGS aren't BAD enough, the UNINVITED individual starts to BABBLE totally IRRELEVANT and NONSENSICAL stuff PROVOCATIVELY.

Let ME tell all of YOU, RUDE, OBNOXIOUS creatures, could you kindly ASK, " Hi/Hey/Yo/SUP? im fully AWARE that im IRRITATING, and ABSOLUTELY not WELCOMED at alll, but could you guys PLEASE have SYMPATHY on ME and allow me to PARTAKE in the little CONVERSATION that you guys are IN?"

Im HONESTLY not trying to be MEAN and UNFEELING, but you PEOPLE just gotta GET it into that THICK SKULL of yours, BEING POLITE is a VIRTUE. and the REASON why the WORLD is DWINDLING down into the ABYSS of EVIL and SIN is YOU PEOPLE.

Now that I've already addressed to the PRESSING issue of the society, its time to touch on even MORE PRESSING issues of the society. do you PEOPLE out there actually know that SINGAPORE is being ranked BOTTOM 10 of the WORLD's TOP COURTEOUS CITIES?
I mean this is some SERIOUS shit man. We are so GODDAMN small in the WORLD, that sometimes GEOGRAPHERS forget to give DOT us on MAPS. then they would PROBABLY go like "WHATEVER man! just GRAB a PEN and put a FULL STOP somewhere THERE." Yet here we are BEING so ARROGANT. Please KINDLY understand the FACT that CHINA's population can DROWN us ALL in their SALIVA, NEW ZEALAND's cows can KILL us ALL in a STAMPEDE, BRAZILIAN's can STONE us ALL to DEATH with their FOOTBALLS. its TIME to REFLECT people.

One of the ISSUEs raised was, SINGAPOREANS do not hold door for OTHERS. COME on, CANT you SEE what are the AUTOMATIC doors for? the ONLY DOOR that aint AUTOMATED and REQUIRE people to hold would be the TOILET CUBICLES door. I would jolly well hold the DOOR open for you while you're EASING yourself if you DON't mind. WHY on EARTH do you need someone to HOLD the DOOR open for YOU? why not the OTHER way round? IF you desperately require SOMEONE to hold your DOOR, go to MARITUS MANDARIN, approach uncle SINGH and ask for his ASSISTANCE.

As you all know, SINGAPORE is gonna host the IMF meeting this year, okay, maybe you all DON'T know a SINGLE SHIT about it. Whatever it is, BIG SHOTS, as in those in DIFFERENT shades of GOLD dressed in SUITS, would be arriving in SINGAPORE anytime soon. To top it off, OUR government has already came up with a CAMPAIGN, named the 4 million SMILES. OBJECTIVE, pretty simple and easy to understand, so STOP giving excuses such as "Eh I Kher Norch REeea Enguish, I Dunch Noooo whad euuu Toking about."
As effect from now ONWARDS, thou art to SMILE RETARDLY at any passing INDIVIDUAL, whom in thou's OWN perception, is DEEMED to be from whichever CONTINENT, COUNTRY, STATE, STREET, ROAD that are LOCATED beyond SINGAPORE's BORDERS.

I'm SO in LOVE with SINGAPORE. Together WE make a DIFFERENCE. My COUNTRY. My HOME.

Just SHOW a LITTLE kindness, LALALALalalalalalalal.............

IM NOT TELLING YOU So much for being WILBERT, 12:05 AM

Dear readers,

the following message was/is/will be/has already been PENNED by none other than the AUTHOR of this BLOG. duh! ( ok, that was from NEXA.)

" I rather be DISLIKED for what I am, than be LIKED for what I am not. "

short and SWEET. sweet simply because it was by ME. thats one thing for all you, PLASTICS, to PONDER over. the SOCIETY is TEEMING with so many of you people, to the extent which the WAX you all produced could fuel a candle for GOD KNOWS HOW LONG.
DAMN! if I were the goddamn GOVERNMENT, on seeing that the country's PLASTIC industry is OVERSATURATED, I'll for SURE DUMP the WHOLE damn lot of you MANNEQUINS into the some other countries' market.
I'm sorry once again KIDS, for using SUCH atrocious and ABUSIVE language. BUT doesn't it just PISSES you off when you see people with all that FAKE expressions, STOP it already. OFF to the recycle plants. MORE plastic BAGS, I SAY! and condoms too! WAIT a minute! ain't condoms made of RUBBER?! whatever, it DOESN'T matter, just WASTE em' ALL!

Okay, enough of the P word. for now.
is " EMO " the IN thing now? i mean what's up with all that " LIFE sucks, im gonna kill myself with a toothbrush." "i see no meaning in living ANYMORE, i'll jump off my BED." "everybody hates me, i'll strangle myself with my HANDPHONE." OH PLEASE!
now do you guys understand why the world's turning into BARBIE's WORLD? everybody's PRETENDING to be SOMETHING they are NOT, just to FIT IN.

im cutting MYSELF because... Erm... erm... erm... erm... MORE erms... erm... cause my friend's friend's friend's friend's friend's friend's friend's cut herself too. I used HERself. Girls, I'm not trying to be SEXIST here, honest. ITS just that don't think its COOL to cut yourself and say that the PAIN brings PLEASURE. COME ON! Im sure there are other TOYS, i mean THINGS out there that provides PLEASURE too. Okay, IF you're REALLY into PAIN fetish, get yourself a SM partner. For those who aren't sure of the term SM, its not time to know yet. ALL that sure BEATS trying to CUT yourself, at least you don't go " ARGHHH...! now where the HELL is the FIRST AID kit..."
Okay for those ignorant DUMBSKULLS WHO still insist on INFLICTING totally unnecessary PAIN on themselves, here's a PIECE of ADVICE. LISTEN up real GOOD. get SOMETHING even BIGGER. why settle for a TWEENY WEENY penknife? how about a CHOPPER? MACHETE? SAW?
Im sure it provides MORE kick and HYPE for you SICK, TWISTED minds out there. AMPUTATE the entire LIMB. package it with FOOD WRAP. exchange it with your FRIENDS. COLLECT em ALL.
IF its good, I might even SET UP a COMPANY, "BERT'S BOD PARTS". pretty neat huh?
i even thought of the advertisement.
SOLD in all DEPARTMENTAL stores. Joints and Accessories each sold separately. Batteries are not INCLUDED.

CIAO, PERVERSED WORLD, ROT ON MAN!
whatever.

IM NOT TELLING YOU So much for being WILBERT, 1:59 AM

WASSUP Pppppppeople!?

IMmmmmmm... BACK for more INTENSE, HEART-THUMPING, HOT blogging action!!

OK. seriously. HOW many of you actually MISSED me? and decided to kinda like COME back for MORE?

For those who actually bothered, this POST is dedicated to YOU. just YOU.

For the start, allow me to REMIND that August and September is COMING. even now as I speak, or should i say type, they are CLOSING in on us. Brace yourself as the inevitable is unaviodable.
Im not so LAME, LAMB, LAMP, whatsoever. The reason Im bringing this ISSUE up is BECAUSE...
NO! not NATIONAL DAY! im not the kind of person that's really into PATRIOTISM, nation LOVE, WORLD PEACE, cleaner TOILETS. Though the fireworks are AWESOME, they had to be, just IMAGINE the amount of TAX PAYERS' ( now our parents, in the future US.) money they are SQUANDERING just for that few MINUTES of WOO's and AHH's. Besides, its always been the same thing for as long as I can remember. Try this. let's guess what's gonna be the FINALE for this year's NDP. Well, since I'm at it, i might as well suggest a thing or two, something to spice up the NDP so things arent that PREDICTABLE.
If the government was spend millions on some fanciful sparks and flashes, might as well, listen up closely PEOPLE, arrange for that amount of money to be rolled up in PILES of $50s, then LAUNCH them into the air for the SINGAPOREANS, for SURE that will SPICE things up for this year's NDP.

Okay then, keeping my suggestion in MIND, i shall continue.
AUGUST and SEPTEMBER are SUPPOSEDLY SUMMER time for Singapore. its not as if SINGAPORE experiences the four seasons, but its just like the SUMMER of all SUMMERS.
at the rate that the WORLD's warming up, (either for ANN's class or just own TRAINING. LOL. sorry, but i just cant help it.), soon we'll have the HOTTEST summer in HOT SUMMERS' history.This spells O-P-P-O-R-T-U-N-I-T-Y for people like YOU out there with EXHIBITIONIST nature, OR those who possesses VOYEUR tendencies.

Since im on it, LADIES or GIRLS, just for your INFORMATION, guys aint the only one with VOYEUR tendencies, DO NOT tell me YOU GIRLS dont OGLE at CUTE guys, and giggle to yourself. so STOP it with those SEXIST remarks, " GIRLS rules, BOYS drools." " BOYS are STUPID, let's THROW rocks at THEM." and STOP wearing TOPS which carrys SEXIST messages AGAINST guys, " MENSUCKS." hurhur.YOUKNOWWHO.
OKOK, i admit, sometimes we guys just say the DARNEST things, crack the CHEESIEST jokes, and OCCASIONALLY, do the DUMBEST things. BUT aint because of THESE, you GIRLS find US cute? COME ON, confess OREADY! who's ALWAYS the one who Laughed Out Loud when I say STUPID, NONSENSICAL RUBBISH? IMAGINE defenders LOOKING for their LOST contact lens during a CORNER KICK. LOL

but seriously, do SOCCER players really wear glasses, of many of you LADIES would ask, as much as I know, NO. but Im not very sure about English players though, as such BECK HAM, and LAMPA RD. Notice why they ALWAYS misses GOALS? it must be their FAILING eyesight. BECK HAM has this SERIOUS case of ASTIGMATISM, in which he sees not ONE, but SEVERAL IMAGES of the GOAL POSTS from far, thus he never able to connect with any of his penalty kicks, WHEREAS for LAMPA RD, his is MYOPIA, like what many of us is familiar with, exactly, SHORT-SIGHTEDNESS. just take a look at the replays of the BILLIONS of shots TAKEN by HIM during the infamous WORLD CUP.

so much for this entry. hope YOU guys and GIRLS had FUN reading. See ya SOON.

PEACE OUT.

IM NOT TELLING YOU So much for being WILBERT, 8:04 AM